Sylvia Forchap Likambi
It is heartbroken to know that Suicide is the leading cause of death among young people aged 20-34 years in the UK, with about three times as many mendying as a result of suicide compared to women. It is also the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK. The above is also true worldwide. Statistics highlight that, every 40 seconds, someone commits suicide, and it is anticipated to be every 20 seconds by 2020!
I often wonder, “why on earth would someone reject/destroy the most precious/ valuable and priceless gift of life—which is life itself? “Why would someone take away/ even think of taking away his/her own life?”
I heard this story about a young woman and mum, who had just gone through a very difficult divorce, lost her family/ her only child, and as if not enough, also lost her job/ was made redundant. Everything seemed to be falling apart in her life, which greatly affected her overall health and wellbeing—causing her to become depressed and suicidal. She was very resentful and bitter about life and had completely lost every hope in herself and in life.
She had finally decided to take away her life—when suddenly, she thought of her beloved grandmother (Granny). Her Granny is very optimistic, loves life, and often tells her amazing stories of how beautiful life is…and always encourages her to be at her very best and enjoy the goodness of life. Immediately, she felt the urge within to pay her Granny one last visit and use the opportunity to tell her how disappointed and hopeless she was. She wanted to express her profound dismay about the life her Granny speaks so well of—she thought she owed this final respect and tribute to her.
On arriving at her Granny’s house, her Granny instantly realized the sadness and hopelessness on her granddaughter’s face and asked her to sit down and tell her what the problem was. As she sat there, talking to her Granny about all her frustrations, losses, and disappointments…she was moved to tears. Her granny then comforted her and told her that she will like to take the opportunity to illustrate to her a very profound life lesson. She requested that she paid attention and watched her. She rose to her feet, took three pots, all of which were the same size, weight, shape, and material. She filled up each one of the pots with the same quantity of tap water (1000ml each), and heat them all up on the cooker with the same amount of heat for up to 10 minutes—until the water in all 3 pots was boiling.
At this point, she got a carrot, an egg, and some coffee, and put them in the 3 different pots—and let them cook for additional 10 minutes. At the end of the 10 minutes, she then served them on 2 different plates and a cup respectively. “What difference do you notice between these three objects before and after they were cooked for 10 minutes?” She asked.
Now, If possible, I will like you to grab a pen and a sheet of paper, and write down your thoughts about all the differences you could identify between each of these three objects before and after being cooked. Which of these 3 are you when you go through challenges in life?
Now, what message or lesson could you draw from this story? Of note, all 3 objects (the egg, carrot, and tea) were subjected to the same conditions. The heat/ temperature, in this case, could be likened to the challenge that all 3 objects went through—which was the same. Nonetheless, the outcomes achieved subsequent to the challenge (cooking process), were quite different/ unique to each object, and based on their intrinsic nature and characteristics—and not on the challenge encountered (in this case, the heat).
“What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” C.S. Lewis
In the same manner, when you go through challenges in life, it is usually of no benefit to focus on the challenge, magnify it, and/or start putting the blame on the challenging circumstances affecting or surrounding you. Furthermore, it is absolutely unnecessary to make reference to the magnitude of the challengeas the reason why you are very depressed, unable to find any solutions or are experiencing a lot of difficulties finding one. In essence, your focus and energy should be on you! Your perspective needs to change and move from the challenge to you—from the problem, to the solution…
Too often, a lot of people who do not cope well with managing challenges (or experience difficulties in effectively bouncing back after encountering some difficult life challenges), are very good at justifying why they seem to be in a poor, hopeless, and/or mediocre condition…and often attribute this to the magnitude and gravity of the challenge they are undergoing or encountering. Notwithstanding, this is not the case, and will never be the case.
You should always remember that, just like the egg, coffee, and carrot, the outcomes achieved after you undergo/ encounter great challenges or storms in life are closely correlated and linked to your personality and those intrinsic characteristics and qualities/values that shape and define you as an individual—and not to the external challenge or circumstances surrounding such challenge.
Fundamentally, who you truly are—your core beliefs, values, thoughts, and attitudes are grossly responsible for the way you deal with and overcome challenges in life.
“In reality, they are not the challenges that come your way in life, that determine how you respond to them, or who/what you become post the challenge. Rather, it is who you truly and authentically are and represent, that will determine how you would respond to those challenges, and who/what you become post the challenge.” Dr Sylvia Forchap-Likambi
The above article is an excerpt from the book: 7 Powerful Strategies For Overcoming Life Challeges- Tested & Proven Life Changing Keys.
Foreword By: HRM QueenNaa Tsotsoo Soyoo I
Traditional Ruler from the Ga State of Ghana
Entrepreneur, Philanthropist, Community Leader and Advocate
To celebrate World Suicide Prevention Day, I am giving away FOR FREE unlimited Ecopies this book, 7 Powerful Strategies For Overcoming Life Challenges – which deals with these powerful tested and proven life changing strategies and keys in depth! The first 3 people to contact me will also have an autographed hard copy with a special message free of charge. My Free Gift will be available from Sunday 10th September – Tuesday 12th September. The link will be available from the 10th of September 2017.